First Flight to Burwash (CYDB)

First Flight to Burwash (CYDB)

023 - I have not been subtle about my strategy of masking my total lack of knowledge about the sport of curling by simply making a tremendous number of fantasy picks.  I consistently select about sixty percent of matches correctly, and my only hope of beating true curling aficionados in this fantasy league is to make more picks than they do.  I have gone through great lengths to make sure I make as many picks as possible and even greater lengths to have all of my picks counted by the fantasy curling site.  I am dismayed to see, however, that there are still individuals that manage to make more picks than me.  This last week, for example, I selected eighty-five matches, yet one person made eighty-eight selections, another eighty-nine, and two people managed ninety picks.

As I look back on the weekend, I remember that there were a group of matches played at the Riga (Latvia) International Challenge that I failed to pick.

They were posted to the site just past midnight Friday morning, played by 3:00am, and I was blissfully sleeping while unawares of fantasy curling opportunities being missed.  I had a hard time imagining how multiple humans could possibly stay up that late into a Friday morning, make their fantasy picks, and function the next day.  Then it occurred to me that not all fantasy curlers live and operate within the confines of Eastern Daylight Time.  Competitors that live near me would most likely operate under a similar construct than mine.  Those living further west, however, could make the very same picks that eluded me from the relatively reasonable hours afforded by their time zones.  European matches that occur in the wee hours for me may happen right before bedtime for a Pacific Coaster.  Of course, the advantage would be reversed for any matches played in East Asia, but the World Curling Tour’s events calendar is not as geographically balanced as one would hope.

I have also come to realize that my desire for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts to move away from Eastern Standard Time and adopt Atlantic Standard Time year round could exacerbate this entire situation.  I have found myself in a position where my feelings about two topics where I am deeply passionate, and which almost nobody else cares, are completely at odds with each other.  On the bright side of things, if I were to start a support group for Hopeful Atlantic Standard Time Fantasy Curlers, I would only need one folding chair.

I now come to the most obvious solution to this dilemma.  If I am to reach my full potential as a fantasy curler (short of learning anything about curling), I must move to Western Canada.  I will take this up with my wife over dinner tonight.  In the meantime, I will research the possibilities of moving my family to the base of Boundary Peak 187 in the Yukon Territory.

It is the westernmost point in all of Canada, and logically, would provide me innumerable advantages as a fantasy curler.  It is within the Kluane National Park and Reserve, but I am confident that authorities within Canada's National Park System and representatives of the First Nations will be thrilled to have a fantasy curling blogger of my prestige squatting on their land.  I am sure that with this region's renowned Internet speeds I can bring long-overdue attention to this area of the world while posting my fantasy picks in a more timely manner.  I also like the idea of driving several hours with my three young daughters to go grocery shopping in Destruction Bay.  This will provide incredible family bonding experiences unlike anything available in such a populated and temperate location as our current residence.  Just writing these thoughts down has made this plan more exciting and almost palpable.  Does anybody know of a reputable yurt retailer?  I am looking for a model that can comfortably house two adults, three children, two cats, and a betta fish named "Cuda," all while still being a yurt.


Image Credits

Clock from flickr user: Selbe Lynn. Reproduced Under Creative Commons License.

Screen capture from CurlingZone.

Map from Google Maps.

Premature Celebration

Premature Celebration

Retirement Party

Retirement Party